I'm Emily P Freeman and welcome to the next right thing you're listening to episode 242
 this is a podcast about making decisions but also about making a life if you struggle with decision to Teague chronic hesitation or if you just need a few minutes away from the constant stream of information and the sometimes delightful but also distracting hum of entertainment you're in the right place for Discerning your next right thing
 one big reason for The Chronic hesitation that some of us struggle with is a fear of making the wrong choice this conversation would be better had face-to-face and of course 1 episode 1 eliminate fear choosing wrong but it's a worthy conversation to at least begin here especially considering how prevalent the sphere is among many of us today let's tackle what we're talking about when we say we're afraid of choosing wrong Wilson it
 one limitation we have in this conversation is obvious I'm going to say it out loud anyway in fact in five years this is the thing I struggle with the most and hosting a podcast about decision-making and discernment and that's the medium itself because here I am in my office alone with the microphone and there you are in your car or on your walk or in the alleyway on your lunch break or your kitchen or on the train or in your yard or your dorm room or on the balcony of your hotel and we are unable to Workshop discuss or hold space for your actual decision
 when I sit with someone in Creative Direction were able to discern together their next right thing in their business or in their creative work and we can talk about the specific fears and challenges that might come along with that or when I sit as a spiritual director were able to discern what God might be up to and where the spirit might be uniquely moving in someone's life situation that my greatest challenge in these short episodes here is to provide something of value that's both brought enough to apply to the diversity of listeners here and specific enough to be helpful at the same time
 one way I've tried to work around the lack of specificity is by extending this conversation via email or on social media during their to ask a questions that might help to inform content as well as hear what decisions you're facing recently I asked him questions like these and one thing I discovered but I already mostly new but is that one of the primary roots of our decision fatigue is how afraid many of us are of making the wrong choice
 I wonder if you were to think back on a recent decision and reflect if there was part or maybe even a large part of you that held fear or at least some hesitancy over whether or not you were making the right choice I decided this is a worthy conversation to have here even within the limitations of this particular medium in order to at least name and define what we're talking about when we say we're afraid of choosing wrong the question I'd love to explore in this space is what do we really mean when we say we're afraid of choosing wrong
 while we may not be able to solve answer discern or decide your particular next right thing in one short episode what I hope is that in the naming and the renaming perhaps you'll at least be able to get a bit of clarity and it most be able to release some of that fear so you can move forward
 thousands responded when I asked on Instagram for you to share more about this fear of choosing wrong based on those responses and my own experience here are some things we could mean when we say we're afraid of making the wrong choice
 maybe we mean there are so many choices to make and we're overwhelmed by the number of options we believe that there is only one right or very few right choices and every other option could be the wrong one like a multiple choice test where there is a singular writing answer in a sea of infinitely possible choices if you believe there's only one right choice that you have to figure out and the stakes feel super high that adds to the fear of choosing like in the context of parenting or Healthcare or even location
 maybe you're afraid of choosing wrong not because you believe there's just one right option but that you think there is a best of the right options like a hierarchy of choice if you think about it that's still a singular Choice hidden among a lot of possibilities
 another fear of choosing wrong could be because of anticipate Tori regret maybe you recognize there could be many good or right choices but what if they are not necessarily good or right for you what if you choose something now but you want to change your mind later after learning more information having a new experience or hearing a different option
 our fear of being stuck with an irreversible decision we cannot change or take back can cause a lot of fatigue and hesitation were haunted by potential what if
 when we say we fear choosing wrong maybe we recognize that morality isn't really in question like a right versus wrong and that kind of a way but we recognize that something specific to our personality is at play and is informing the sphere like our own fear of missing out on something fun or something better or the concerned that our choice will impact our status reputation or standing in a community we want to make the best choice for us for our family for our students or congregation or those in our care the responsibility of the consequence of our choice impacting the lives of other people he's afraid of making one that isn't the very best the most comfortable or the most fun for everyone involved
 there's also the fear of choosing wrong because we worry we'll fail be rejected or it will be revealed that we are wrong either the illogically intellectually spiritually relationally we worry that what we step into might be worse than what we left behind
 the sphere of choosing wrong is a deeply troubling thing for a lot of us and it might reveal an admirable if not also sometimes debilitating desire to practice good discernment we wonder is this wisdom or is it fear am I being brave or just plain selfish is this a calling from the Divine or is it just my idea
 is my discomfort something important I need to pay attention to in order to maybe make a change or is it an indication of my own particular brand of laziness immaturity or restlessness
 essentially we wonder is it me or is it them
 should I speak or stay quiet and will the outcome be better or will it be worse so if you have a decision before you and you're afraid you're going to choose the wrong it's really important I think to Define our terms
 first wrong according to whom
 you your boss a partner or best friend your mother a customer a client a child your extended family your past or your priest wrong according to God wrong according to a version of God who you used to believe in or a version of yourself you used to be a version of yourself you wish you were
 it's helpful to be specific when we say we fear we're choosing wrong wrong according to who
 secondly I'd say binary thinking is really helpful and decision-making it's unfortunate that the word right is in the name of this podcast because the spirit of doing the next right thing is actually not one of trying to avoid the wrong thing instead it's about staying in this moment today and taking just one next step in a particular direction not because you know everything or can see the future but just because you're a human person doing your best along the way
 compassion and kindness go a long way when you're feeling afraid
 precious few choices are right forever there will be some things that you'll choose once and it would be right for life but the older I get the shorter that list becomes another thing that can be helpful to remember is that one choice doesn't solve all problems sometimes were afraid of choosing wrong because we put the pressure on one decision to bring peace and Clarity to a myriad of other decisions and will that may sometimes be true I have found that the bigger truth is usually that decisions that are going to impact our lives in a grand way are really just one decision but a series of smaller decisions and it helps to think of been that way
 and then there is the god question one of the most common responses I've heard from readers and listeners who said they were afraid of making the wrong choice is a genuine concern that what they want is not what God wants
 you're a person of Faith who cares deeply about God's presence in your life chances are you've wondered some version of that statement maybe you've read a verse like Matthew 5:48 that says be perfect therefore as your heavenly father is perfect and you might take that to mean that you're to not make mistakes and your choice is in fact this word translated as perfect doesn't suggest perfection in the way we might imagine scripture Scholars agree this translation is not precise the words be perfect actually imply completion or a full-grown is more precisely as an invitation to be whole
 what does it look like for you to make your decision from a place of wholeness rather than a place of fear the last thing I'll share may not be popular is definitely not something I wanted to hear when my dad gave me this advice when I was in college what he said was 49 to 51 is still a decision
 again it may not be what we like hearing but it is the truth we would prefer our decisions be one hundred percent to 0% every single time but being a person is often about going with the 51% and then learning to name grieve and let go of the 49
 in this post 2020 World decisions may feel different now than they did before maybe we lack some of the certainty that we once had or the clarity of mind that used to come he's maybe our community is shifted and we don't have the support we once enjoyed in abundance if you're afraid of choosing wrong I hope these words have at least helped you get some clarity around what you are most specifically afraid of and what you mean when you say it
 hope you'll take it for me that you're most certainly not alone in your fear and I also hope that the practice of doing just the next right thing today can bring some comfort you don't know what to do yet Perhaps it's not time to do it and if you can't wait any longer just do the best you can with what you know and who you are today
 it's okay but there are things you don't know
 it's okay that you can't see the future it's okay to make a choice and see what happens here's to your next right thing
 thanks for listening episode 242 of the next right thing
 well I hope this simple practice of getting Clarity on what we mean when we say we're afraid of choosing wrong can be just one more run on the trellis the phone with your Rhythm of Life can continue to grow because while it's true this is a podcast about making decisions the bigger truth is our daily decisions are making our lives my hope is that if you're experiencing a fear of making a wrong choice at this episode could be one you can return to or share with someone you love or care about as always you can find me online at Emily P Freeman.com or on Instagram at Emily P Freeman a special thanks to Lee a Jarvis who creates our show notes and ensures that we have transcripts available for every episode and to the team and unusable for Faithfully attending our sound
 enclosing here's a word from Margaret Gunter who says in her book holds listening when in doubt I always assume that God is indeed at work
 thanks for listening and I'll see you next time