I'm Emily P Freeman and welcome to the next right thing you're listening to episode 223
 this is a podcast about making decisions but also about making a life if you struggle with decisions atique chronic hesitation or if you just need a few minutes away from the constant stream of information and the sometimes delightful but also distracting hum of entertainment you're in the right place for Discerning your next right thing wasn't it
it was four months into the pandemic and our family beach trip had been canceled like everything else we go every year with John's family but in the summer of 2020 no one's going anywhere and we aren't visiting with anyone outside of our immediate family much listing and house with them but the kids did have a couple of friends who were in our quarantine bubble and we decided very last minute to rent a house on Hilton Head and go to the beach anyway just us and the kids we took nearly all the meals at the house we spend most of our time either on the water or riding bikes outside but aside from the fact that we were at the beach this week a shin is not like the others instead of staying on the ocean side we stayed on the sound side instead of being with family we were alone instead of having a pool we had a deck overlooking trees and water weigh in the distance
 one morning I go out to the deck with no pool to read and think before the day starts and our vacation neighbors outside on the phone on her deck talking to her supervisor she hasn't been in the loop and she doesn't want to lose and lose and it's all have to hire two people to replace her she says a lot of words and I hear every single one of them by now it's 8 a.m. and I'm fully annoyed she's been getting off the phone for a full five minutes and never stop saying thank you
 2 years before that trip John travels with me on a work trip to California we tack on a few days at the end for a little vacation just the two of us our final night we had to a small hotel on the water room that I'm super excited about because it's so close to the edge that when you sit on the bed your entire view is just water but once we arrived at the hotel it has a major Unsolved Mysteries five was tired from years of the wind beaten down by salt and weather but look beautiful on the internet with oddly threatening in real life the wind so loud you couldn't stand outside the water a little too imminent The Horizon a little too wild to much Wonder up close until dangerous quick we stayed there one night it was too long for me
 last summer we flew to Montana and I was looking forward to the whole trip but mostly I was looking forward to seeing the Stars I never been to that part of the country and whenever anyone asked me are you looking most forward to that's what I said I can't wait till it gets dark and I can look up and see the stars but as the plane descended and we landed in Montana it was painful to admit what my heart you immediately as it turned out the wildfires in the west that burns nearly 8 million Acres of Summer 1 million of those Acres were in Montana alone even the blue sky looks gray none of us wanted to say it out loud but there would be no star gazing on this trip
 I surely stories not to Bahamas all the way out or to reveal the truth about my own privilege must be nice Emily to be disappointed on your beautiful trips I know I totally completely know
 but isn't that what sometimes happens summer's coming and we make plans may be the first time we've made plans in years whether its plans to travel or plans to be with friends or family plans to host people at your house in your very own neighborhood whatever it is you do make your plans you might spend some money you might calculate your next right thing and then the day comes and you're unexpectedly angry for really dumb reasons or what you thought would feel relaxing actually kind of stresses you out or the one thing you hoped for the most even if it was small ends up being the one thing you can't experience or enjoy
 is it true on vacations and also just true and regular life and work in relationships or on simple weekends at home we all know the importance of gratitude list and Counting our blessings and being grown-ups looking on the bright side maybe even when things don't go our way but sometimes our next right thing turned out differently than we thought and even if it's not life-threatening or earth-shattering even if other people have it worse even if you plan this and wanted it and it's mostly great we might still feel some disappointment and we might not even know all the way why
 the worst thing we can do is to scold ourselves for the feelings it doesn't help and it will probably make it worse
 instead when we find ourselves bummed out and disappointed in a medium regular kind of way we can practice the same movements we do when it comes to making a decision clear some space name those unnamed things and then just do the next right thing in love
 clear some space could just mean take a moment to notice and acknowledge that things are not all the way well take a deep breath in the guest-room closet find a moment to pause on the pool this deck to knowledge hello deck in the hot sun I wish you had a pool you don't and that lady next door talks way too loud
 and then name these unnamed things and that doesn't mean to sit and analyze why you're so frustrated it could just mean look 1 inch beneath the surface I'm annoyed or I'm sad or this is not what I hoped it would be and then the next question you already know what's the next right thing right now in this moment I promise you it is not to shame yourself for feeling disappointed it also isn't to blame someone else for things not turning out the way you hoped just acknowledged the thing and then brush your teeth drink some water make a toast finish the dishes just one thing and then the next it's helpful to notice the gift to then let that work for you the beauty of the trees where that fool could have been the humor in the conversation that came after everyone arrives
 in her book a rhythm of prayer Sarah bessey writes that every rhythm of your life is a path to prayer and that includes when you do your next right thing even in the midst of medium sadness disappointment even in the midst of a time that's supposed to be super fun and turns out just regular fun or not even fun at all every rhythm of your life is it high which means that everything we do we bring the presence of God With Us even when we feel sad even when things aren't living up to our expectation even when we are living up to our expectation
 the truth is we live in the center of the Divine Dance of the trinity
 and Godfather's us and mothers Us in the medium light of a regular disappointing day as we do our next right thing in love
 thanks for listening to episode 223 of the next right thing
 I hope the simple practice of naming those small disappointments can be just one more run on the trellis upon which your Rhythm of Life can continue to grow yes it's important to me because even though this is a podcast about making decisions you know the deeper truth is that our daily decisions are making our lives as always you can find me online and Emily P Freeman cam or on Instagram at Emily P Freeman where oftentimes these episodes are born in small conversations and comments and images there
 will enclosing a read a short quote from a book called burnout the secret to unlocking the stress cycle
 to be well is not to live in a state of Perpetual safety and calm but to move fluidly from a state of adversity risk Adventure or excitement back to safety and call him out again stress is not bad for you being stuck is bad for you
 thanks for listening and I'll see you next time