Is Sex Before Marriage Sinful or Acceptable?
welcome to real Christianity a weekly show designed to help Christians know their Bible defend their faith and truly understand what it means to follow Jesus the premise is simple the culture is getting louder the church is getting flash ear but few pastors are teaching on how to live a Biblical life my name is Dale Partridge along with my incredible wife Veronica join us if we start an important conversation about what it really means to be a Christian
 welcome to real Christianity today we are talking about is sex before marriage sinful or acceptable before we jump into that discussion couple things if you want to listen to our podcast or the other past episodes or hear this episode from the web you can always do that at relearn church.org listen and you can find all the show notes for this episode and all past episodes another thing that we have been really kind of consistent with and I didn't want to announce it until we were consistent is the relearn Church Instagram account and the ultimate marriage Instagram account I've been trying to make sure that we get something out there at least two times a week on those accounts just some inspiring content if you guys would like to follow those accounts and if you want to follow Veronica and I might just add Dale partridge
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 yeah so the tile over show is sex before marriage sinful or acceptable and we get this question quite often either emailed or direct message to us from couples who are Christian or dating or Christian and dating or from someone who has a friend with somebody that's Christian dating and happens to be sleeping with their significant other and I know that it is simple but have no idea how to defend the sexual Purity or explain it when someone asks them about it and it's our hope today as we share that we can help you understand the Bible's perspective and position on premarital sex so that you can help others align themselves with God's design for sexuality I think this is just a really
 practical show because I think it's a pretty common topic even in the church sadly there's a lot of people in the young adults groups that are sleeping around and it's pretty serious business so first thing I want to remind everyone is
 what if you're listening to the showing you are sleeping with your significant other if you know somebody who's sleeping with their significant other and they're not married this is kind of how I open up this conversation is to remind us that we are the beneficiaries of God's obedient not God we got to confuse this often that somehow if we follow God's laws there it's like he's the beneficiary of us a favor that's really the truth it's us who reap the reward of obedience not God and that's kind of a preface for this conversation and every time that we move out from under God's will or God's ways life gets more confusing or difficult or painful we see this all the time people that are walking outside of God's ways they just live a harder life
 and if we think that it's difficult to be obedient to scripture like it's really difficult to control myself when I'm alone with my boyfriend or girlfriend you think that's difficult well I promise you that it's more difficult to indulge yourself with sexual relations and then break up it's it's it's far more difficult you know it more difficult is indulge yourself in sexual relations and have to answer for that behavior in front of the Lord that's far more difficult and so this is a really important thing is that we think that it's difficult to obey but I promise you that it's more difficult to not obey on these teachings and time and time again history tells us that that is true and I want to mention
 just again is another process is that God is smarter than you and I when we say that we're going to stand outside of God's boundaries for sexual design we're really saying to God I know more about me and this life and sex than you do.
 that's really what we're saying when we said you know how to do it my way and I'm not going to do it your way God is the inventor of sex and it because he invented it he knows how to do it best in terms of how it should be done he's given the boundaries about how sex should be executed and again I'm just doing a few promises before the conversation here is a form of worship I know you guys are thinking will worship way I just think my hands raised a church different function of worship here but sex is a form of worship whatever we pursue is a form of worship we don't pursue things that we don't worship if we're pursuing Comfort or success or money were worshipping those things and if I'm worshipping myself I will use others and abused others to gain pleasure if I'm worshipping sex I will deny God's boundaries and go wherever
 sexual pleasure leads me to if I am worshipping God I am going to seek out God's boundaries and his design and I'm going to love people the way that God tells me to love them and so we have to realize that sex when we when we I guess partake in premarital sex it's because we're worshipping sex or worshipping pleasure and not worshipping God God's boundaries are good and they protect us and that's really the core message of this is that they're good and they protect us and we don't put fences around weeds
 we put fences around Gardens we don't put trash inside of a safety deposit box we put jewels and gold and precious items in there to protect them and so the thing at these boundaries are here to protect what is sacred and important to God and should be to us and so just route recognizes. God going we're putting up these laws me boundaries to ruin your life no it's because there's a protection of beauty there now I have to hear this question God made me this way
 the love sex why would he make me this way then tell me not to behave according to the way that he made me
 and I'll let Veronica tackle this yeah so yeah I hear that question pretty frequently as well and first just because I feel a certain way doesn't mean that our feelings are valid which might be a hard thing to hear 5 verses 17 through 25 reinforces the idea that our emotions are not to be trusted as the determiner of Truth so let's go to read that passage and then you understand why I'm saying that again Galatians 5 verse 17 through 25 for the desires of the flesh are against the spirit and the desires of the spirit are against the flesh for these are opposed to each other to keep you from doing the things you want to do but if you were led by the spirit you are not under the law now the works of the flesh are evident sexual immorality impurity Center
 quality idolatry sorcery immunity Strife jealousy fits of anger rivalries dissensions division Envy drunkenness orgies and things like these I warn you as I warned you before that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God did you guys hear that last part I warn you as I warned you before that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God you talked about the first of the things he mentioned that are part of the flash is the worst of all morality and curity and sensuality of the hardest things the next and even after that before is idolatry which people that are stuck in this sexual bondage or sin or constantly craving it or / taking in it are making an idol out of it often not all of them but
 that's a great point and you know what I think I want to point out for Veronica what she saying here is that for the desires of the flesh war against the spirit means that literally says both engines are the spirit against the flesh these two are opposed to each other to keep you from doing the things that you want to do you want to have sex that's a desire of The Flash start it again if you're not married and our emotions are a part of our flesh we sometimes went to like make our emotions the spirit and the way that we check if we don't know if their emotions Orphus Spirit you check with the word of God and that'll determine the difference
 everyone thanks for listening to this episode we wanted to quickly tell you about our six-week online marriage Mentor program at our companion Ministry ultimate marriage, yeah the only designed a powerful biblical curriculum with six beans one for each week here's how it works every seven days down I release a 45-minute video Lesson on that week's theme plus a weekly marriage challenge PDF for you and your spouse to incorporate this teachings directly into your marriage a program where we cover everything from Sex and Money to children and biblical roles but more than that it's also an incredible Community you'll have access to our private online group and the ultimate marriage text message line where Veronica and I can send our regular encouragement and wisdom straight to your phone the catch is this we try to limit the number of couples in the program at one time to ensure a quality and intimate experience so if you're interested in joining the program
 roll now at ultimate marriage.com again that's ultimate marriage.com
 yes oh God takes sexuality very very seriously his word says it those who practice sexuality outside of his design will not hear you know God is I repeated in that scripture now that doesn't mean that God hates sex god actually love sex he designed it and he created you and I to have those desires the desire for sex is not bad in itself I like to think of it as a fire outside of a fireplace fire itself is not bad but a fire outside of a fireplace is bad and dangerous it's exactly we got to confuse I think so many people get married and they got been told not to have sex have sex have sex and then you get married and have sex and so we got to make sure that sex is good it's it's God's design it's a good thing there's just because it's good it's sacred it's connected to God there's a way to do that and so the point we're trying to get across here is that God
 blessings are only found within God's boundaries you want God's blessing in your life then live within his boundaries for your life and sexual Holiness is God's will. If you want and I will be done well his will is sexual Purity he wants us to be separate and set apart from the culture in this way who is looking at pornography who is sleeping around before they are married this is why people are getting married until their late twenties our motivation to because they can have everything they want without commitment and it says that scary scary verse this letter is written to Christians by the way it's not a general letter to remember the Paul's writing that letter in Galatians to Christians and he tells Christians I warned you as I warned you before that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God now do the other translation of that is practice means that you're doing it like an habitual Manor like
 getting better at it you're getting better at hiding it you're getting better at like coaching yourself why it's okay you're justifying it unrepentant sinner that should put you in a very scary position when you hear that scripture so how can I say for sure that gods
 desire for you or his will is that you would abstain from sexual immorality I'm going to review 1st Thessalonians 4:3 through 8 which is a important verse for the church for this is the will of God your sanctification that you abstain from sexual immorality that each one of you know how to control his own body and Holiness and honor not in the passion of lust like a gentile to do not know God that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter in this matter of sexuality because the Lord is an Avenger and all things all these things as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you for God has not called us to Imperial tea button-holing us there for whoever disregard this disregards not man but God who gives his holy spirit to you are just like the clearest scriptures on
 you don't have sex before
 you're married so why is premarital sex sinful because the only sexual activity that the Bible does not condemn or an an actual permit is the sexual activity between a man and a woman Inside the confines of a marriage that is the only type of sex that is supported in scripture and not condemned in scripture and so for what purpose like why did God make sex is another important question why did God designed it this way there's three basic but I'm going to give you just the three basic purposes of why why God designed sex the way that he he designed it so the first is sexist refers to the first is the reproduction of God's image
 that's number one it's the God created us with the ability to create and to fill the Earth with his image he wants us to create children who know and love him never to the strengthening of the marriage bond through intimate pleasure and so it strengthens the marriage Unity through sex that's another purpose for May 3rd is it's the physical representation of the spiritual pleasure that were actually going to experience us as the church when we are perfectly United with Christ so sax and even orgasm is really this idea of
 it's a mirror it's a physical mirror to a spiritual truth about what it's going to be like when we're completely unified with Christ as the church beautiful beautiful stuff in deep marital theology there but I just wanted you to catch that it's not this like I'm asking to have sex go feel good that's not what it's about and premarital sex departs from all three of those purposes it's not for reproduction actually in most cases it's for prevention or pleasure only and usually in many cases end in abortion it's not
 for the premarital sex is not for the strengthening of a marriage bond and premarital sex is not representing the pleasure that we're going to experience when God and His Jesus in his church are united as one sex outside of marriage is actually a lie about Jesus in the church it's a lie about where real Joy can be found and so it's just a big conversation seems small but it's a big deal 1st Corinthians 6 verses 18 through 20 Paul says flee fornication every sin that Amanda is outside of the body but he who commit sexual immorality sins against his own body or do you not know that your body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you whom you have from God and you are not your own for you were bought at a price for glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are gods
 as a Christian we don't get to decide what we want to do with her body's got his purchased our body with his own blood because of this we should glorify him with our bodies and it's why we have that song goes on our house at like almost reading it wrong because I have it memorized the way the song sings it must be a different translation but it's a song that our daughter listens to that has that temperature in his computer and it just remind her that her body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and that we don't get to do what we want with her a place where to check with the Lord and the Lord's word on this matter so I think I thought you made here is that cats like God purchased your body with his blood and you get eternal life because of that purchase
 and then you're going to go and do exactly the opposite of what God commands you to do it's like dragging the temple of
 God through the dirt you know it's like it's just so incredibly disrespectful when we understand the temple and
 that our body represent the temple is to be used what's the temple for honor God is to glorify God it's two to show God's power and then you're just going to take it into a simple situation so I'm not even got the quick wrap up of what we talked about just so you guys can have this is helpful information and maybe remember what we said so that you can reference this episode if you ever need to have a conversation with a friend or send this episode to somebody that might need to listen to it and if you guys have that again you can do that at relearn church.org. Listen you can find this episode and just say hey brother sister heard this episode you might want to take a listen and hopefully either this could be a tool of the Lord to bring fraction to a situation like that crap up Five Points remember one we are the beneficiaries of God's commands not.
 what is good for eyes write the rules of scripture are here to help us not hurt us you got to really get people to believe that that's really important the second thing is sex is actually a form of worship remember that whatever we pursue is what we worship and you know are you worshiping pleasure by adhering to your own design for sex or you worshiping God by adhering to his design for sex 20 / 3 is God take sex and sexual immorality very seriously and so should you I'm his word says that those who practice such liberality will not inherit the kingdom of God crazy that's just it should just scare a little fear like righteous fear in us when you hear that and that the rest of the list yet look at the rest of that list number for God's will for your life is sexual holding us to be separate and different number five premarital sex
 parts from God's three purposes for marriage or four sacks which are reproduction of His Image the strengthen of the marriage bond and Tamir the other pleasure that we will have with a Church of unified with Christ in heaven and so
 just a critical understand all that was helpful in identifying for you guys again a couple reminders before we close out here any less points you want to make sure that you're up to it up nicely so the show notes again relearn church.org for less than you could finally showed up to this episode again if you guys want to follow realer church or open marriage which is our companion Ministry that we help marriages biblical marriages you can follow that on Instagram as well it's just a dreamer church and at ultimate marriage is the ultimate marriage was taken I know how is it like an account that's like that he hadn't given to us. Please review of the episode of this podcast would appreciate that thanks for listening guys and hopefully we will have you guys back next week for another episode of real Christianity take care
 hey Dale Partridge here I recently heard a disturbing statistic only 11% of Christians have read the entire Bible now we can't wonder why the church is being influenced by the culture more than the culture is being influenced by the church the vast majority of Christians don't know God's word because they've never read it we cannot live out what we do not understand so Veronica and I want to challenge you right now to read the Bible in one year we put together a basic 365-day reading plan that'll take you no longer than 20 minutes per day and you can download it for free at relearn church.org Bible again that's relearn Church. Org forward slash Bible
 thank you for joining us on this episode of real Christianity real Christianity is an audio Ministry of relearn church.org if you'd like more information on how to live out a Biblical life relearn church.org hosts a variety of Articles podcast sermons and videos to support your journey real Christianity is 100% listener-supported Ministry and if you'd like to support our efforts simply click the Donate tab at relearn church.org you can also connect with both Veronica and I on Instagram Facebook and Twitter for daily lessons and Bible teaching thank you for being with us today we hope to see you next Wednesday for another episode of real Christianity