welcome to real Christianity a weekly show designed to help Christians know their Bible defend their faith and truly understand what it means to follow Jesus the premise is simple the culture is getting louder the church is getting flash ear but few pastors are teaching on how to live a Biblical life my name is Dale Partridge along with my incredible wife Veronica join us as we start an important conversation about what it really means to be a Christian
 welcome to real Christianity Today We Are answering two questions to questions we try to do this at least once a month for me to answer questions that are coming in on Instagram and actually that one time I did I got like three hundred questions and so I still got a consistent like lots of people ask these questions and then also answer the question for the singles how do you make it through being single and any tips on kind of making it being single if you want to be married and so we're going to get both of those today and I'm going to hit the first one Veronica is going to hit the second one Veronica does also add her opinion on the first one one time
 so let's start off and read these questions you don't we forgot to do the last episode
 is to mention if you guys haven't left your review yet I'm so good at that and I always forget our never forget to do that anyways before we jump into this guy's if you have not left a review of the podcast would you do that the reviews really do help the exposure the show iTunes puts in their algorithm and we have I think almost three thousand reviews at this point at a 4.9 star I guess average is what it is and if you guys leave a review just have the Stars even need to write anything but if you just have to start it would just be a lot you could also find these podcast on our website now at church. Org forward slash listen you can get all the information on our podcast the video as audio the notes the scripture reference is all that is available at the website you can also find the links to Google Play to Spotify and other places that you can listen to the show
 okay now we can go all right first question how do I say focus on building my relationship with God I find myself being inconsistent in my prayer time in quiet time any tips on how I can get better at this
 well first off welcome to the problem that many Christians have dealt with I think the answer that I'm going to offer is hopefully at least for my own journey in your journey on the let's start with the lations I'm going to be a couple scriptures that start off with Galatians 5 17 it says for the desires of the flesh are against the spirit and the desires of the spirit are against the flag for these are opposed to each other to keep you from doing the things that you want to do that's kind of a crazy passage right go like my flesh and my spirit are at war is what it's teaching and they're against each other this way and it's like he's he wants us to choose to follow him and and so to choose to to walk in the spirit and so your flesh is never going to want to
 do your quiet time that's not a thing that your flash is going to desire to go sit in the word of God or to submit yourself in prayer that's not something that your flesh is going to want to do so don't expect your flesh to want to do that when you're just starting out especially then what your flesh
 am I never going to want to do it it's your spirit to start to put your your flesh into subjection that you can start really enjoying and having a discipline doing that but you're right in the beginning you're still learning how to put your flesh into subjection of your spirit it's a maturity I guess that's that it goes with
 and our fleshly desires laziness
 passivity convenience for you pleasure. The things that are flush one's not disciplined and focused time with God where you're going to submit to the hard things of scripture and we live in a culture that glorifies dizziness everyone's so busy you need to be busy if you're not busy then you're nobody like her caters to that and trust me and I are busy people we have plenty of things we can fill our time with but this takes priority don't worry but then throw them in the back burner if he's priority you'll make his word priority in the morning or whatever time of the day we do in the morning and at night it's kind of our our system going to give you the scripture 1st Corinthians 9 27 this is Paul saying but I discipline my body and keep it under control
 less after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified Palisade man I put my flesh into subjection to my spirit I discipline my body and so can even called us this stuff you know there's things Paul talks about rubbing things that I want to do I don't do the things that I don't do I want to do it like he's he's he's in the same dilemma I want to read the word of God I want to get in prayer and for some reason I don't want to do it but the things that I do want to do I don't like this back-and-forth battle in your mind and so is very common in Matthew 26 42 42 41 Jesus says he says that he came to the disciples and found them sleeping and said Peter what! Could you not watch with me one hour?
 Watch and Pray lest you enter into temptation the spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak a lot of people Miss interpret this passage of scripture that his spirit is willing but his flesh is weak when you read the contacts of the passage and I checked several, Terry's like I'm not going to read you John Calvin's, too and that's not what's what it say Jesus is saying to them the disciples that their spirit is willing but your flesh is weak you keep falling asleep I'm here in the Garden of Gethsemane sweating blood getting ready to go to the cross I asked you to come be with me and you keep falling asleep to pray and and so he sent a week with your flashes its own a really real quick Jess John Calvin's and I'm not like a big calvinist guy but I appreciate Jon k.
 So I'm going to read it
 I just say that because sometimes people go out which I'm counting this deal must be a calvinist that's not what I'm saying he writes on the scripture the, turn this passage that he that he may not terrify and discourage the disciples he gently reproves their slothfulness and adds consolation and good ground of Hope and first he reminds them that though they are earnestly desire to do what is right
 still they must contend with the weakness of the Flesh and their fourth that prayer is Never Enough cesarean wherever or wherefore this admonition relates properly to believers who being regenerated by the spirit of God are desirous to do what is right but still labor under the weakness of the flesh for though the grace of the spirit is vigorous in them they are week according to the flashlight and do the disciples alone have their weakness here pointed out to them yet since what Christ says of them applies equally to All We ought to draw from it a general rule that it is our duty to keep diligent watch by praying for what we do not yet possess the power of the spirit and such a measure as not to fall frequently to the weakness of our flesh and so I think John Calvin's going to hate this is a constant battle with your flash it's week
 and we need to constantly lean on prayer and so if you're struggling to stay consistent you got to get into the on your face and on your knees and got Lord
 give me strength draw me and fill me with your holy spirit so that I can walk in the spirit and desire the things that you have for me
 yeah if it if it helps being consistent is hard for us to but we do prioritize it is a priority for us we are consistent but yeah our flesh necessarily will struggle with it if you're tired you know like I know the kids are hard your brains overwhelmed I studied all day not because of our own self-will but because the Lord has met us each time we are faithful and seeking him and in these moments of unity with the spirit we're we're so rewarded it feels so rewarding that we begin to see the value in the enjoyment of our fellowship time with God and don't actually put together a really great quiet time
 routine that were actually go to be turning into a journal later this year but until then start in prayer is Dell said read a chapter a day just do something in a good Bible at bring a notebook write down things that pop out to you things to be praying for things that the Lord is revealing to you and ask the Lord to reveal to you his truth and Proverbs 8:17 it says I love those who love me and those who seek me diligently find me and then another coat that I wanted to share with an aw Tozer quotes and he says to a found God and still into still pursue him
 is the souls great form of love I think this is a really important I wanted to stop in these two things that you just said here is that one is that Proverbs 8:17 says those who seek me diligently find me the theme throughout the scriptures is like diligence and I think it's the 2nd Timothy 2:15 be diligent to show yourself approved to God a worker who does not need to be ashamed rightly dividing the word of Truth and that that idea is be diligent to show yourself approved to God that you're not a worker in his kingdom that needs to be ashamed but you've actually taking the time to study and your rightly dividing the word of truth because you understand it and so that's something I just I believe that's it 2nd Timothy 2:15 okay course number 2 I'll read this one The Veronicas an answer
 I'm so tired of being single and I really want to be married any tips on how to deal with this season or end this season
 well first off I'm sorry I know that waiting. Is so hard I can only imagine how tough it is for both men and women and then over the years Dale has really talked a lot about this and how it's become a huge problem and quite complicated today but single people generally have three things working against them first the church isn't teaching men how to be biblical men and women how to beat up a woman instead the church's adopting the egalitarian view of gender that has been pushed by the culture and gone are the days were teenage girls desire to grow up and to get married and have children and become a mother and a wife and I don't know where that is I don't think I've met anybody who we have a few families that we've seen
 but it's yeah it's not a common thing where you like a thirteen-year-old girl that or 15 or 16 year old girl that's excited
 there's like no I don't have kids
 but yeah instead the girls today grow up and they desire a career and maybe want to have maybe one kid when they're 35 this way of viewing woman head which is really just fueled by the feminism movement has removed the need for a man to provide and to protect a woman in today's world she can provide or protect herself and then ultimately the church is not forming a performing biblical gender roles in the hearts of young people and we're seeing this as a result
 hey Dale Partridge here I recently heard a disturbing statistic only 11% of Christians have read the entire Bible now we can't wonder why the church is being influenced by the culture more than the culture is being influenced by the church the vast majority of Christians don't know God's word because they've never read it we cannot live out what we do not understand so Veronica and I want to challenge you right now to read the Bible in one year we put together a basic 365-day reading plan that'll take you no longer than 20 minutes per day and you can download it for free at relearn church.org Bible again that's relearn Church. Org forward slash Bible
 yeah and I just think about this you know what you're talking about here is
 is that as a man if if if culture at large is saying women can provide and take care of themselves but four times past like a manager up and look for a woman to care for it like his the woman dad would care for her until he handed her off to her husband that was the idea of giving her away because your dad would provide for her and protect her and lead her until the moment the husband took over that role and now it's like the winning just going to do that on their own they don't need a man
 you know I ain't no need no man with that was a couple years ago
 yeah that this idea is hurting attorney the men the men are literally going you know what was the purpose of me trying to provide or protect for these women and I'm not saying that it's all the woman's fault because we're going to talk about the men next but that is interesting point we have a porn epidemic so this is the second thing so first thing was biblical roles of men and women you're dealing with and then the second thing you're going against these poor situations for these thing is that the men had a poor an epidemic problem that 95% of men outside of the church and 60% of men inside the church are looking at pornography regular basis you go outside the street and you look at a guy nine out of ten are looking at pornography on a regular basis and that the church you look across the crowd and six out of ten guys are looking at port on a regular basis it's like 40% for the women it's really really sad and really gross
 and what this is doing is actually removing for the men at God's natural tool for marital acceleration
 when you want to have that so we have that sexual desire that's good from the Lord
 but you continue to release that sexual desire in front of a computer
 where's that is either the desire is lost to go pursue a woman and motivation motivation the fuel that the way to get there you just kind of put it somewhere else and that's that's a big deal that that's a big cause of this single this epidemic you know why get married when I could do it around stay free and you know I have masturbation addict complete freedom on my own time that that is to be frank what's happening in a large case in the church that's how these guys can remain single for so long because if they were holy men not looking too
 commit sexual immorality they would be very motivated to start speaking to women and start getting in a relationship and that's like and I believe God's design for it's just one part of it and again I really want to warn the men many men are going to stand these men that call themselves Christians are going to stand before the Lord and be turned away because of their unrepentant hearts and how they made porn of the Lord of their life and not Jesus and so I just I'm very
 particular about this conversation around porn because I know how destructive it is and there's an article that will tell you about when we closed the session that you guys can go and take a read on our website the third thing that you're dealing with in the single epidemic from my perspective is this extended Adolescence in men first adolescence it is an invention of the 20th century before the 20th century you were either a boy or a man there was no like a middle ground area adolescence is this way of the culture to sanitize adult Boyhood it's a word to kind of make us be more comfortable with adult Boyhood but the reality is that's what it is is the men are remaining boys for long periods of time they're not becoming Men Moving Out growing a beard and paying your rent doesn't necessarily make you a man
 and we like to believe that those are like I got a job and I moved out now I'm a man I'm providing for yourself as a is a big part of it on manhood if you haven't listened to that as well the average age right now for men moving out of their parents house is between 25 and 30 years ago and the average age of marriage for a man right now is 29 and a half years and so it's really sad so you can bind feminism and kind of remove the need to really care for a woman because they kept themselves you combine that with pornography and combine that with Boyhood adult Boyhood or adolescence and you get singleness epidemic that's really what's going on in my opinion it's I think it's way more complicated than that but you you're seeing this in the church and in the culture
 on the issue we have a few tips so if number one dealer all about online dating Christians are so afraid of it and I think if you're truly longing for someone and you just haven't been able to find that person in your community or if they're friends of friends use every tool available to you obviously use wisdom and discernment and who you're going to be meeting up with but we're not against a couple of our church who met online dating point to when you go on dates do with married couples this actually helps to remove any fear of marriage if you have the opportunity to see it played out in the lives of your married friends number 3 don't date somebody unless your goal is to be getting married
 you can't see yourself and make sure go on a date or two maybe three but by then you should be able to know like this person have potential to be my husband or not so you wrote that note already and I didn't see that number for stop basing everything off of looks looks fade a true gotten married looks fade character is it remains you know it was improper it's at the end of proverbs 31 darn it I had it their beauty is vain charm is discharged this evil beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised got it I knew I knew it so I'm not saying that you shouldn't be attracted to your spouse that's definitely an important in that's what generally draws you to somebody I'm just saying
 idolize the physical but focus on their spiritual
 see that that's not true
 number 5
 lastly men need to stop being afraid to speak to women into go ask a girl out on a date there is actually really simple good-looking guys that are single young men that have known you or been to Bible study or something and there's this really pretty girl I'm just afraid to ask her out until like do it your middle part of being a man go ask her out on a date 23 go get this done you know and we have to have one couple yeah that's that's potentially maybe going to get married at some point because it was just a conversation of you should you go ask her on a date to go do it that's going to date and it's looking really positive right now so I think a lot of the problems and then just need to step up and just start asking and I think a lot of women appreciate that I think so that's release for my reminder 10 and then a lot of women today want to know how they can preparing be preparing themselves for marriage in the meantime I get that question a lot
 and I think a big answer is by doing what you're doing right now listening to biblical podcast preparing yourself for marriage studying what it means to be a typical woman and also to be a Biblical man so that way you know what the word call to action is for you to be well-versed in it that's how you prepare yourself for marriage be around other married couples you no care for other people's children serve them so that way you can see what it's like to be a mother briefly you know those are all great steps to practically preparing yourself to be to be a Godly wife and mother another thing is I actually wrote an article that you can read on relearn church.org for the ladies titled how to find a Godly Man in a Godless world so you can go and check that out and then men I mean men and women if you have an issue with pornography but at this is this article's director of the men I mentioned earlier that I read an article
 and it's on an RV on our site and it's called why praying for the strength to quit pornography won't help you and it's a pretty intense article I think it's probably all of my theology that I have on pornography it's available for you guys it's been read by tens of thousands of people and I the comments and the emails that I've gotten about this article about how the truth of scripture has set people free in this area I just recommend that you take a peek at it out I've heard tons of positive feedback as well so hopefully that was helpful again getting in touch with your quiet time and then the last thing is how to be single well so hopefully those are helpful answers for you guys I'm again if you guys would consider leaving us a review on the podcast it would be would be blessed by that and thank you guys for doing this every Wednesday and we have a bug
 in our studio anyways so thanks for listening guys will see you guys next Wednesday take care
 hey Dale Partridge here you may not know but real Christianity is actually an audio ministry under our nonprofit organization relearn church.org to bring the church back to the Bible and secondly to relearn what it means to be the church in the world now we do this in two ways the first is we offer a library of biblical articles and sermons as well as a variety of podcasts and videos completely free to the public secondly we offer Seminary grade curriculum and workshops to train Christians on how to plant biblical house churches and National communities as of now we need your help to meet the demands of our annual budget if our work or this podcast has been impactful in your life would you prepare fully consider supporting relearn Church financially from $10 per month and up every little bit helps if this interests you you can make a tax-deductible donation at relearn Church.
 Forward slash donate relearn church.org forward slash donate thank you for your consideration
thank you for joining us on this episode of real Christianity real Christianity is an audio Ministry of relearn church.org if you'd like more information on how to live out a Biblical life relearn church.org hosts a variety of Articles podcast sermons and videos to support your journey real Christianity is 100% listener-supported Ministry and if you'd like to support our efforts simply click the Donate tab at relearn church.org you can also connect with both Veronica and I on Instagram Facebook and Twitter for daily lessons and Bible teaching thank you for being with us today, we hope to see you next Wednesday for another episode of real Christianity