hello Dale Partridge here you're listening to an episode from the real Christianity archive Veronica podcast under the name ultimate marriage as a resource for online marriage Mentor program found at ultimate marriage.com program is still a critical part of her Ministry after about 30 episodes we decided to change the name of this podcast to real Christianity as a way to widen the scope of our Biblical content that said these are some of our most popular episodes so please enjoy and stay with us on the journey to bring the church back to the Bible
 welcome to Ultimate marriage weekly show designed to replace the lies culture has told us about marriage and family with the raw truth found in the Bible the premise is simple divorce is rising families are falling in the culture and even the church seems to be more confused than ever my name is Dale Partridge along with my incredible wife Veronica conversation about what it really means to have a Christian marriage
hey guys and welcome to Ultimate marriage today we're going to be talking about for women only part one of the number one question that we get it look like for a wife a Godly wife to motivate her husband to become the spiritual leader and then if you're washing this we're listening to this is actually a really good episode for the men to listen to as well there's some doctor in for the guys that were going to be talking to it's well if you guys are watching video this is the last week that I'm going to have a bandaid on my face probably hopefully if you guys don't know I had some skin cancer removed for my head surgically and that's why I have a bandage on my head so we kind of caught that the very end of the last episode and we're also going to be looking at our notes over here so if we can if you're watching this on YouTube because we have a video podcast that's what's going on if you're listening to
 audio that hey you don't get to see us or our notes but we hope that you guys enjoy the show today subscribe on YouTube please leave a review on iTunes so many of you guys have we have over 150 reviews with just three shows I mean come on. Thank you for those who have left a review yeah it's a big deal and if you'd be willing to just you don't even need a ride anything just hit the Stars how many stars you want to vote for our show up because it's reviews really do help our exposure for the show so I'm going to just going to open it up and then Veronica is going to be teaching a little bit of the stuff on 1st Peter they were to be talking about today sadly the audience for this podcast the ultimate marriage podcast is mostly women
 and and I say sadly because it's a problem we need to activate the men and culture especially especially activating the men in the church in most couples who enrolled in our 1 year there's Mentor program with the wives were going to take in the initiation we noticed that the big way I'm not at the husbands may be in our group aren't motivated but it was the wives who took the initiation to do that same things true with some of our marriage Retreats the same thing is true with the comments that we get in I mean Veronica's only generally going to get comments from the women 95% women 90% of women obviously just a large amount of women in comparison to the meds comment on your Instagram and you know in most Christian marriages it's the woman or the wife who is you know getting the family to church it's the wife who's reading the Bible on a regular
 it's the wife who is going to a Bible study is still wife who is may be reading the scriptures to the kids and I just wanted to tell you guys you know well first off let's praise the women because that's a faithful witness in a faithful work that you ladies have been doing that but it's actually not how God intended it to be I know that we have to walk to the store after we have but that's not how God intended it to be I'm not necessarily saying that you're sitting by doing that I'm just saying is that God would actually has other plans if we're going to see that in scripture on that is a little bit of part I mean that is a part of our role to is a mother and discipling our children but to take the lead that fall tomorrow to the has been chilled later because that's kind of in terms of just the spiritually because your husband can't spiritually lead so it's a balance of what we're going to talk about today but we're going to talk about how it should be not
 this is an ideal situation and this is how we should be walking these things out as a lady's just you know give us some Grace's we talked to the stuff and I'm in the flash when men don't lead women do and we have to just remember that in the flash when men don't lead spiritually women do and we need to pay attention to that concept as we're going to talk about today but biblical women know that the fastest way to awaken your husband's heart is not that actually take over it's it's actually pull back it's the quite like it's quite the opposite of what your flesh actually want to do and what I call this leading from behind and so this scripture that we're going to read and Peter's first epistle in chapter 3 is leading from behind and it's God's design for a woman to spiritually motivate her husband or to activate her husband spiritually and so we're going to talk about this is Veronica's going to read 1st Peter
 answer for why is likewise be submissive to your own husbands that even as some do not obey the word they without a word maybe one by the contract of their wives when they observe your Chase conduct accompanied by fear do not let your adornment being merely outward arranging the hair wearing gold or putting on fine apparel rather let it be the hidden person of the heart with The Incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet Spirit which is very precious in the sight of God okay
 your husband's spiritual status does not change your spiritual role as a wife
 estate meaning it like if he's activated if he's a Believer but not going to church or just believe it not read his Bible or if he's not to believe it all my spiritual status doesn't change your role in whether he's following the word of God or not he's out of your home
 right he's our spiritual leader and you are not going to win them to the gospel or to the truth by usurping his position leading every conversation that it's going to take over I wrote this in our noses run has like what is this word and we were talking about the other day. But we talked about it I'm glad that she's using it but I just use surface or you see what happens to take over as to pull back and that's what the scriptures talking about yeah and you're the greatest influence of gods of workouts truth to your husband right so he's not just your husband he's your brother in Christ and you have to look at him that way he's he needs Christ so don't be the reason he's turned off by the gospel so about six or seven years ago tell and I were a part of
 church and we one of the the nights that we went to for the marriage Ministry that we used to go to was a night of people to sharing their testimonies and where God has brought them through all these married couples and there was one couple in particular that I still remember very clearly who share their story and it was a husband and wife who had gone through the wringer they his her husband was addicted to pornography he had hired prostitutes he would leave and not come home for several days and his wife very well knew what was going on and she something that stood out to me that she shared was I had to stop looking at him as my husband who shattered my heart but I had to start looking at him as my brother and Christ who needed the gospel who needed the truth found in the word who needed to repent of his sin and so I came alongside him as his sister and cry
 and watched it at season looking at him as my brother and they redeemed everything in these are we I mean at least that we haven't been there so it's just me here without a word and means that you're holy conduct will be the means of moving his heart need your will be what winds are husbands to the gospel preaching at your husband is not as effective as walking out your biblical role
 isn't as effective as walking out your biblical role is it now my part okay sorry we're just we're still new at this guy's and were crushing it and you don't have two spots were like you know we get our notes together and Veronica has herpes and and then I have my notes next to hers and we're sharing the same forgive me I'm not as good at ad-libbing I like my nose I like to read what I have written down and Dales very good at just going off the cuff where I like to be like prepare to know what I'm going to say so if I sound like I'm reading is probably because I am but I'm reading what I want to say we went over before reserve your chaste conduct accompanied by fear when they the husband observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear the reason that this wife would behave in such a way
 where she actually doesn't dominate her husband like especially in a modern world like to actually instead of take over but pull back and humility is so incredibly rare today in the modern world especially with the feminist culture is it is that alone would become the evidence to move your husband's heart to go like wow this is so weird she she must really believe this you know she must really actually have a reverence. It's going to say that as a reference for God's truth and it says reference your husband you know this woman is is allowing her conduct not necessarily her words to be the means by which you know what she moves her husband's heart I mean it the holy spirit's moving her husband's heart towards the gospel in towards spiritual maturity and towards leadership in the home
 and so yeah the obedience to God in an imperfect circumstances is very convincing to a man I want to say that again the obedience to God an imperfect circumstances is very convincing to a man when you can be obedient and things that are just like these are not this is not a good situation. That is what makes it so special and so unique and so yeah it's just that it is a powerful way to win win Hearts do not let your adornment be merely outward arranging the hair wearing gold or putting on fine apparel rather let it be hit the hidden person of the heart how is it stuck in the park in prison of the heart with The Incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet Spirit which is very precious in the sight of God
 hey Dale Partridge here last year I heard a disturbing sadistic only eleven percent of Christians have read the entire Bible now we can't wonder why the church is being influenced by the culture more than the culture is being influenced by the church you see the vast majority of Christians don't know God's word because they've never read it we cannot live out what we do not understand Veronica and I want to challenge you right now to read the Bible in one year we put together a basic 365-day reading plan it'll take you no longer than 20 minutes per day and you can download it for free at ultimate marriage.com Bible again that's ultimate marriage.com Bible now let's dive back into the show
 survival cheats that we are compound being without a soul got a spirit without a body we haven't outward appearance which is visible and have an inner tube parentage is obviously invisible and God looks at the heart he cares about what's going on in your heart what Peter's trying to say here is that man this stuff matters the inside matters way more than the outside in the winning game to make sure that you're always guiding your heart to what the truth is the truth is found in God's word because it's so easily to get wrapped up in your feelings but your feelings kind of don't matter when it comes to the word of God you have to follow the word of God regardless and quiet with your husband or are you assert is
 and controlling dominating dominating and leading because Peter says that what is precious in the sight of God which is that quiet Nique Gentle Spirit is what changes your husband's heart of like going to church stuff like the complaining because it's coming from a root of bitterness that's in there yeah and when you come to your husband and your approach him with that type of heart attitude like you really think that that motivates her husband to want to be better know it annoys him it's like a dripping faucet do you know it's just yeah it's it definitely does not motivate your husband to want to lead better and I mean so many women passive aggressive passive aggressive because of the bitterness and anger so we can if you want your husband to lead those things out it's the gentle and quiet Spirit the thing that's very proud
 Vista God is the thing that very same thing that will actually motivate your husband's hard to go plow this is a real to her and and make him activated to step into his spiritual role to be at least willing to hear the gospel if he's not actually a Believer OK Google verse 7 talking to the dudes here for a second so if you're reading that long or going to references back to verse 7 chapter 3 first Peter 3:7 it says husband likewise dwell with them with understanding and the King James version of some of the birds in my according to knowledge dwell with them with understanding giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel and is being airs together of the grace of life that your prayers may not be hindered
 okay so a couple things husband do you know your craft or your career or your business or your friends better than you know your wife like are you a student of your wife or is your wife constantly asking the choir door saying the savings like do you not know that about me by now like we've been married for 10 years you don't know that about me like that's a problem it says my husband like was do well with your wive's according to knowledge according to understanding you need to make an effort to know your wife deeply to be a student of your wife that is a part of your role to study her to know what brings her joy to know what brings her sorrow to know what brings her peace to know what brings her love and you actually Decatur those things in your life husband likewise dwell with them according to not understanding understand who they are and then it goes into this idea of giving honor to
 wife as to the weaker vessel so let's talk about that for a second so this is probably one of the greater scriptures that talks about Salud to the idea of being a provider and protector getting honor to the weaker vessel your wife is in terms of her stature her structure her frame that word weaker vessel means the physical frame of your wife it doesn't necessarily mean that she's got a week or Spirit or weaker emotions or any of that stuff it's the weaker frame and that your job is to be a provider and protector she is frail and comparison to to a man's structure in a frame and she's beautiful and you know I think of like dainty or whatever the other words that are just like is that Veronica's like a whopping 95 pounds at 5 ft 1 so she's very tiny people meet me in person if they followed us on social media
 funny you know it also says in 1st Corinthians chapter 11 when it's talking about it says the man is it says man of the glory of God and woman is the glory of man what I mean by that is that woman is the better version of mankind she's the more beautiful version of the human race she's the glory of man that's why we as men find them beautiful cuz they are there more beautiful than a man structure just look at a woman's body at their her frame it just different compared to a man gets more beautiful it's more of a piece of art it's the glory of mankind is what it by Paul says in 1st Corinthians chapter 11 years together in the grace of life again this is another take of equal value the different roles we are equal before the law the men don't have any more spiritual value they have maybe some different Spiritual Authority which is derived Authority which we talked about before but drive to authorities that it comes from God
 Master manzoor woman and but we have different roles to equal value in different roses remember that and the big thing at the end of the scripture that's powerful that should scare the pants off the man of the men is that it says you should behave this way because if you don't your prayers will be hindered God will literally turn his ear to your to your request if you don't walked in this matter with your wives do you want to be how much like opposition or like ice resistance do you want from God like your prayers are being hurt because you're not walking according to understanding giving honor to your wife you know we were talking there was a great message by Paul Washer and he talks about you if you want to share it real quick yeah he just said he's afraid to the scripture right I believe in he talks about so he has a daughter so men listening if you have daughters what would you do if someone tried to hurt her
 Streeter Streeter I know what Dad would do I'm a fallen sinful broken human and I would be angry I might hurt somebody else you know if they try to hurt our daughter that's what I would do
 and what would God do to his daughter's okay and he even loves your wife more than you love your wife and that's his daughter it's always going to be his daughter and he goes hey you know what if you don't behave according to my will I'm not going to hear your prayers as a consequence for that so I thought it was a pretty powerful if you're listening husband time to step it up you are called to be the spiritual head of your home you can read that First Corinthians chapter 11 you can read that in a fusion5 you can read that in Genesis chapter 2 and 3 like you are the spiritual head of the home wake up get motivated you know leader wives initiate the spiritual growth in your home that's what I want you guys to take away from this and remember that Satan's plan is this metal b-boys when will be men and shield
 as a result will become irrelevant and so we as many to protect against that bring the kingdom of God that protects against that idea like that and then we can do some questions some today and if you guys have questions send them to support at so we got some questions wrong because you answer one of them an answer one question is how can a couple who can't afford a babysitter or dinner at was the type of maybe that I wrote a couple go on a date night when they can't afford a babysitter there got it okay so family obviously if you got family members close by but like for in our circumstance for a little while we didn't have any family living
 nearby do us until just a few months ago so yeah if you got family members ask them and then another thing that we have done is just do cheap date night at home put your kids to bed early Tire them out during the day if you know that you're in need of time with your husband swimming Tunes to really bring your kids out or just playing with water if it's summer right now so burnt now there's all kinds of activities you can do to burn out your kids and put them to bed early and just have a night out on the porch and picnic and drink a glass of wine or whatever it is cheap date night and then another thing also that some of our friends have done is they'll trade date nights and so for example Dale and I will go on a date night in our friends to watch our kids and then the following week those same friends will watch their kids and they'll go get to
 trade off and if you can't afford dinner cuz they taught us to be pricey yeah we do a date night every week again I think this is a husband's responsibility to make sure it doesn't happen but yeah I'll be we've done date nights at our are my parents house because it was just like it we we made dinner at our house and one day yeah who are out of town and we just hung out there and movie the point of it is make a way I need to get out get creative the question for
 all the guys so what's that mean he is most women teach their kids about the Bible because they spend more time with them do you believe it's the father's job or the mother's job to teach the children about God I think it's both both both of the parents job to teach them about God Veronica reads books and read the scriptures and teaches them about God all day long but so do I and I do it I'm more of a doctrinal level I guess more of a theological level where I'm taking them on a journey I'm making sure that they understand some of the Core Concepts of the gospel and you're also making sure that I know what you want that's what you were you want the children to be guided through that way throughout the day when you are working or you're out of the house I know where I'm supposed to be directing them where do you think the children should know
 what do you think that they need to work on to work on it so she's seeking my leadership which is again a very respectful thing to do with a wife and I love the kids to be more grateful and that's something that we've been working on for a couple months now is like getting them to be thankful and grateful for the things that they have with the kids all the time I'll go up to Dale at the end of the day just like hey I really think honor could use some more time with you or I really think the Aria needs this or I'm kind of gauging their hearts I'm with him all day long she's out on the children the pulse on the on the on the home because yeah I'm working during the day and you can't expect your children to know Jesus if you're not willing to read his word to them so I read the word to the children to 5 days a week I try to do it every day Sunday we don't because I'm teaching at church generally
 and then sometimes we still well even though so but like 45 times a week I am sitting down with the kids and I'm reading the ESV Bible I'm not reading a kid Bible I'm reading the regular Bible that we read I read new King James but we have a nice ESV that's a little bit easier I think I understand for the kids and but it's a regular adult title and I'm taking him through Genesis right now I'll be read through Fusion or through the Book of John The Book of Matthew I read through these books and it says in Ephesians father's raise your children up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord okay who did he call out the father to your job bothers you have an active role raise your child your children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is teaching the doctrines
 and I also believe that the husbands and fathers are going to stand before the Lord and give an account in the way that the wife is not I believe that because of that derived Authority we are going to be held responsible for the Lord more so than Veronica to be held responsible for the leadership of the home of of the children of the family and so there's all types of fun things you can do I have your kids memorize the 10 commandments have your kids recite the gospel back to you let them know that narrative really important stuff so yeah those are too quick answers I hope those are helpful for you guys every week we do a memory verse so this week if you're following along we want you to memorize these verses you cannot grow in your spiritual journey without memorizing scripture you're not going to be able to pull this out of your brain when it comes up to need it if you can't memorize it so ladies your verse for this week
 1st Peter 3 1 and 2 why is likewise be submissive to your own husbands that even if some do not obey the word they without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your chaste, accompanied by fear all right so innocent men this is the men's verses 1st Peter 3:7 husband likewise dwell with them with the understanding giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers may not be hindered
 self a couple things work clothes out to Kai's again if you guys be willing right now just to write to show just give us a couple Stars everyone if you give us five stars that's awesome but we'd love that would be super helpful for us and for the show to get more listeners to bring God's word and God's truth back to marriage as we want to build biblical marriages and the show know if you go to ultimateguitar.com you just go to the navigation you click on podcast and you can click on this episode you can watch the video you can see all the scriptures reference all the clothes that we said today nicely organized and you can share two people and send it to people the players there you can listen to audio or video so just know that that's available at ultimate marriage.com
 I got that already thanks for listening guys are you rolling in our one-year online marriage Mentor program also if you're interested in learning more about building a better marriage full of Veronica and I on social media
 he deal Partridge here and if you don't know but that marriage is actually a ministry under a nonprofit organization relearn church.org our mission at relearn churches to bring the church back to the Bible and secondly to relearn what it means to be the church in the world that we do this in four ways the first is we train Christians had a plant biblical house churches and we do this through in-person workshops and online media the second is helping Christian married couples have biblical marriages of this podcast our Retreats and our 12-week online program is part of that effort the third is biblical parenting and the fourth is biblical manhood as of now we only have enough budget to build out the first two initiative but our hearts are yearning to create more content more courses more programs and more events but we need your help if our ministry has been impactful in your life would you prayerfully consider supporting relearn Church financially from 5
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